Minor fixes to VPN section
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Authored by sevan on Jun 11 2017, 12:39 AM.

Details

Summary

There is a double prompt in the IPsec vpn article at the moment.
e.g. # corp-net#
This patch attempts to address that by moving the hostname to the start of the line before using the root.prompt macro.
Fix spelling mistake picked up by igor.

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rD FreeBSD doc repository
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sevan created this revision.Jun 11 2017, 12:39 AM
sevan updated this revision to Diff 29453.Jun 11 2017, 1:11 AM

Clarify that FreeBSD 11 comes with IPsec enabled by default, a custom kernel is only required on older releases.

bcr edited edge metadata.Jun 11 2017, 3:12 PM

A few comments.

en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/security/chapter.xml
374 ↗(On Diff #29453)

That is output from the utility. Is that fixed in there and we did not pick it up yet or did they fix it and have not updated this section?

2130 ↗(On Diff #29453)

A   between &os; and 11 will be good to have.

sevan added inline comments.Jun 11 2017, 3:16 PM
en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/security/chapter.xml
374 ↗(On Diff #29453)

Ah, good catch, I didn't check the context. It was flagged by igor.

sevan updated this revision to Diff 29462.Jun 11 2017, 3:21 PM

Drop corrections to command output.
Add non-breaking space.

sevan marked an inline comment as done.Jun 11 2017, 3:21 PM
sevan marked 2 inline comments as done.
bcr added a comment.Jun 11 2017, 3:25 PM

We had encountered the same problem at BSDCan in another review. Seemed like a low-hanging fruit, but it isn't. ;-)

sevan added a comment.Jun 11 2017, 3:50 PM

Indeed, need to check, check and check again :)

This revision was automatically updated to reflect the committed changes.
wblock added inline comments.Jun 16 2017, 3:42 PM
head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/security/chapter.xml
2130

I think we generally say "later" rather than "newer".

2131

s/older releases/previous versions/

Rewriting to avoid the if/pause/then structure (and leaving out some markup for clarity):

Add these options to the custom kernel configuration file to add IPsec support to previous versions of &os;.
2132

Please eliminate "the following" whenever it is used incorrectly, which is almost always. The only time to use it is when it can't be replaced with a simpler "this" or "these".

sevan added a comment.Jun 30 2017, 5:28 PM

Hi Warren,
Apologies for the late reply to this, just wanted to follow up to say I've not forgotten about this review, will get the points you raised addressed next week if not this Sunday.

Sevan

sevan marked 3 inline comments as done.Jul 7 2017, 1:45 AM

Done, see D11510