safer wait-free iteration of shared interrupt handlers

The code that iterates a list of interrupt handlers for a (shared)
interrupt, whether in the ISR context or in the context of an interrupt
thread, does so in a lock-free fashion. Thus, the routines that modify
the list need to take special steps to ensure that the iterating code
has a consistent view of the list. Previously, those routines tried to
play nice only with the code running in the ithread context. The
iteration in the ISR context was left to a chance.

After commit r336635 atomic operations and memory fences are used to
ensure that ie_handlers list is always safe to navigate with respect to
inserting and removal of list elements.

There is still a question of when it is safe to actually free a removed
element.

The idea of this change is somewhat similar to the idea of the epoch
based reclamation. There are some simplifications comparing to the
general epoch based reclamation. All writers are serialized using a
mutex, so we do not need to worry about concurrent modifications. Also,
all read accesses from the open context are serialized too.

So, we can get away just two epochs / phases. When a thread removes an
element it switches the global phase from the current phase to the other
and then drains the previous phase. Only after the draining the removed
element gets actually freed. The code that iterates the list in the ISR
context takes a snapshot of the global phase and then increments the use
count of that phase before iterating the list. The use count (in the
same phase) is decremented after the iteration. This should ensure that
there should be no iteration over the removed element when its gets
freed.

This commit also simplifies the coordination with the interrupt thread
context. Now we always schedule the interrupt thread when removing one
of handlers for its interrupt. This makes the code both simpler and
safer as the interrupt thread masks the interrupt thus ensuring that
there is no interaction with the ISR context.

P.S. This change matters only for shared interrupts and I realize that
those are becoming a thing of the past (and quickly). I also understand
that the problem that I am trying to solve is extremely rare.

PR: 229106
Reviewed by: cem
Discussed with: Samy Al Bahra
MFC after: 5 weeks
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D15905