lockmgr: add adaptive spinning

It is very conservative. Only spinning when LK_ADAPTIVE is passed, only on
exclusive lock and never when any waiters are present. buffer cache is remains
not spinning.

This reduces total sleep times during buildworld etc., but it does not shorten
total real time (culprits are contention in the vm subsystem along with slock +
upgrade which is not covered).

For microbenchmarks: open3_processes -t 52 (open/close of the same file for
writing) ops/s:
before: 258845
after: 801638

Reviewed by: kib
Tested by: pho
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D25753