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cxgbe/t4_tom: Initialize all TOE connection parameters in one place.

Description

cxgbe/t4_tom: Initialize all TOE connection parameters in one place.
Remove now-redundant items from toepcb and synq_entry and the code to
support them.

Let the driver calculate tx_align, rx_coalesce, and sndbuf by default.

Reviewed by: jhb@
MFC after: 1 week
Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D21387