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MFC r349242, r349501, r349514, and r349517.

Description

MFC r349242, r349501, r349514, and r349517.

r349242:
cxgbe/t4_tom: DDP_DEAD is a ddp flag and not a toepcb flag.

The driver was in effect setting TPF_ABORT_SHUTDOWN on the toepcb
instead of what was intended.

Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications

r349501:
cxgbe/t4_tom: Mark the socket's receive as done before calling
handle_ddp_close.

This eliminates a bad race where an aio_ddp_requeue that happened to run
after handle_ddp_close could bump up the active count.

Discussed with: jhb@
Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications

r349514:
cxgbe/t4_tom: the AIO tx job queue must be empty by the time the driver
releases the offload resources associated with the tid.

Reviewed by: jhb@
Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D20798

r349517:
cxgbe/t4_tom: Tweaks to some of the AIO related CTRs.

Reviewed by: jhb@
Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications