MFC r343579, r344253

netmap: fix lock order reversal related to kqueue usage

When using poll(), select() or kevent() on netmap file descriptors,
netmap executes the equivalent of NIOCTXSYNC and NIOCRXSYNC commands,
before collecting the events that are ready. In other words, the
poll/kevent callback has side effects. This is done to avoid the
overhead of two system call per iteration (e.g., poll() + ioctl(NIOC*XSYNC)).

When the kqueue subsystem invokes the kqueue(9) f_event callback
(netmap_knrw), it holds the lock of the struct knlist object associated
to the netmap port (the lock is provided at initialization, by calling
knlist_init_mtx).
However, netmap_knrw() may need to wake up another netmap port (or even
the same one), which means that it may need to call knote().
Since knote() needs the lock of the struct knlist object associated to
the to-be-wake-up netmap port, it is possible to have a lock order reversal
problem (AB/BA deadlock).

This change prevents the deadlock by executing the knote() call in a
per-selinfo taskqueue, where it is possible to hold a mutex.
The change also adds a counter (kqueue_users) to keep track of how many
kqueue users are referencing a given struct nm_selinfo.
In this way, nm_os_selwakeup() can schedule the kevent notification
task only when kqueue is actually being used.
This is important to avoid wasting CPU in the common case where
kqueue is not used.

Reviewed by: aleksandr.fedorov_itglobal.com
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D18956