MFC r346602, r346670-r346671, r347183: tun/tap race fixes

r346602:
tun(4): Defer clearing TUN_OPEN until much later

tun destruction will not continue until TUN_OPEN is cleared. There are brief
moments in tunclose where the mutex is dropped and we've already cleared
TUN_OPEN, so tun_destroy would be able to proceed while we're in the middle
of cleaning up the tun still. tun_destroy should be blocked until these
parts (address/route purges, mostly) are complete.

r346670:
tun/tap: close race between destroy/ioctl handler

It seems that there should be a better way to handle this, but this seems to
be the more common approach and it should likely get replaced in all of the
places it happens... Basically, thread 1 is in the process of destroying the
tun/tap while thread 2 is executing one of the ioctls that requires the
tun/tap mutex and the mutex is destroyed before the ioctl handler can
acquire it.

This is only one of the races described/found in PR 233955.

r346671:
tun(4): Don't allow open of open or dying devices

Previously, a pid check was used to prevent open of the tun(4); this works,
but may not make the most sense as we don't prevent the owner process from
opening the tun device multiple times.

The potential race described near tun_pid should not be an issue: if a
tun(4) is to be handed off, its fd has to have been sent via control message
or some other mechanism that duplicates the fd to the receiving process so
that it may set the pid. Otherwise, the pid gets cleared when the original
process closes it and you have no effective handoff mechanism.

Close up another potential issue with handing a tun(4) off by not clobbering
state if the closer isn't the controller anymore. If we want some state to
be cleared, we should do that a little more surgically.

Additionally, nothing prevents a dying tun(4) from being "reopened" in the
middle of tun_destroy as soon as the mutex is unlocked, quickly leading to a
bad time. Return EBUSY if we're marked for destruction, as well, and the
consumer will need to deal with it. The associated character device will be
destroyed in short order.

r347183:
geom: fix initialization order

There's a race between the initialization of devsoftc.mtx (by devinit)
and the creation of the geom worker thread g_run_events, which calls
devctl_queue_data_f. Both of those are initialized at SI_SUB_DRIVERS
and SI_ORDER_FIRST, which means the geom worked thread can be created
before the mutex has been initialized, leading to the panic below:

wpanic: mtx_lock() of spin mutex (null) @ /usr/home/osstest/build.135317.build-amd64-freebsd/freebsd/sys/kern/subr_bus.c:620
cpuid = 3
time = 1
KDB: stack backtrace:
db_trace_self_wrapper() at db_trace_self_wrapper+0x2b/frame 0xfffffe003b968710
vpanic() at vpanic+0x19d/frame 0xfffffe003b968760
panic() at panic+0x43/frame 0xfffffe003b9687c0
mtx_lock_flags() at mtx_lock_flags+0x145/frame 0xfffffe003b968810
devctl_queue_data_f() at devctl_queue_data_f+0x6a/frame 0xfffffe003b968840
g_dev_taste() at g_dev_taste+0x463/frame 0xfffffe003b968a00
g_load_class() at g_load_class+0x1bc/frame 0xfffffe003b968a30
g_run_events() at g_run_events+0x197/frame 0xfffffe003b968a70
fork_exit() at fork_exit+0x84/frame 0xfffffe003b968ab0
fork_trampoline() at fork_trampoline+0xe/frame 0xfffffe003b968ab0

• trap 0, rip = 0, rsp = 0, rbp = 0 --- KDB: enter: panic [ thread pid 13 tid 100029 ] Stopped at kdb_enter+0x3b: movq $0,kdb_why

Fix this by initializing geom at SI_ORDER_SECOND instead of
SI_ORDER_FIRST.

PR: 233955