sockets: use socket buffer mutexes in struct socket directly

Since c67f3b8b78e the sockbuf mutexes belong to the containing socket,
and socket buffers just point to it. In 74a68313b50 macros that access
this mutex directly were added. Go over the core socket code and
eliminate code that reaches the mutex by dereferencing the sockbuf
compatibility pointer.

This change requires a KPI change, as some functions were given the
sockbuf pointer only without any hint if it is a receive or send buffer.

This change doesn't cover the whole kernel, many protocols still use
compatibility pointers internally. However, it allows operation of a
protocol that doesn't use them.

Reviewed by: markj
Differential revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D35152